Many years ago, I was sitting in my garage apartment watching the pregame before the Super Bowl. Brent Musburger was interviewing Jim McMahon, the starting quarterback for the Chicago Bears. Musburger asked McMahon what he thought about some people describing him as not a nice guy. He did not hesitate and said, “I don’t want to be a nice guy. I want to be a good guy.” Now I didn’t hear anything else after that point because I was pondering that statement.
Good Guys
I started thinking through heroes in Westerns and War movies. They were usually pretty rough and not nice guys, but they were good guys. Even in the Bible Moses, David, Peter, Paul and even Jesus were not always nice, but they were good.
That sounded like a pretty good philosophy to live by, so I adopted it and made it my motto. By the way, I want to be careful to not just apply this to men. This can apply to women as well.
Motive
If you think about it in the workplace, nice guys and girls are liked but their motives could be out of fear, people pleasing, insincerity and manipulation. This could lead to unresolved issues and bitterness within the “nice” person.
Organizational Cost
The cost to the organization could be loss of confidence and frustration with the nice guy while some could take advantage of the perceived weakness. Simmering conflict could be brewing below the surface. Coworkers and leaders are robbed of valuable feedback that could make them better.
Faithful Wounds
Good guys and girls tend to draw clear boundaries and have a healthier self-worth. They tend to speak up more quickly to bring up hard topics for quicker resolution if they think it is in the team’s or even the other person’s best interest. As I help clients grow, there are times I bring up something everyone sees but no one has had the courage to point out to them. Many express deep hurt that no one has cared enough to tell them. I am reminded of the proverb ‘faithful are the wounds of a friend.’ Sometimes the most loving thing you can do is to point out a blind spot. A tip here: timing is key. Try to do it when they are ready and with a spirit of caring. I would pause if you are going to get any enjoyment out of it. If so, you might not be the best messenger.
So, who do you want to be…a nice guy or a good guy?
