“Be more open-minded.” “Keep an open mind.” These are common statements with a good intent…to encourage us to not be difficult and narrow in our thinking. While this is generally good advice, I think there is a better way to think about this.
A Free Mind
A friend once told me he did not strive to have an open mind but a free mind. He said when your mind is open, you allow anything to dump in there and roll around a bit. If you are not careful the bad ideas, toxic thinking and outright untruths can stick around. He prefers to keep a free mind where he allows things to flow through his mind. The good stuff he chooses to pluck from the flow and adopt to his life. The unhelpful stuff is allowed to flow through and keep on going.
Is There A Nest In My Hair?
We can’t control having an errant thought, but we can control if we continue to focus on it. Martin Luther said, “You cannot keep birds from flying over your head but you can keep them from building a nest in your hair.” The operative word here is ‘choice.’ We are not the victims of bad thoughts or even lies dominating our minds. We can choose to pay attention to our thinking and identify what is not helpful.
Replace
It is not enough to just say I am no longer going to think about that. We must replace it with something that is helpful. In workshops I like to use the example of holding up my phone and saying, “For the next 5 seconds do not think about this phone…. go! You were thinking about this phone, weren’t you? Now for the next 5 seconds don’t think about this phone but think about this pen I am holding in my other hand… go! You could that, right?” We must choose replacement thoughts to operate optimally and live healthy lives.
I like focusing on a free mind because what we choose to think about has a direct impact on our wellbeing and the decisions we make. This is of vital importance because:
Your thoughts create your choices…
Your choices become your actions…
Your actions become your habits…
Your habits become your character and your life.
Are you going to choose to have an open mind or a free mind?
