Trust is gained in inches and lost in yards.
I learned that lesson years ago from a manager who lost the trust of an entire trading floor with a single decision.
I worked with a very talented coworker, let’s call him Tommy, who was a lot to deal with and tended to alienate everyone around him. On a trading floor, that was not entirely unusual. Strong personalities were common, but this situation had gone too far.
His manager had received so many complaints that he called a confidential meeting with all his coworkers to hear everyone out. One by one, we shared our concerns. We all agreed that Tommy was killing morale and causing people to dread coming to work.
After listening and taking notes, the manager assured us he would have a blunt conversation with Tommy to address the issue.
Trust Lost
But nothing changed.
A few weeks later, we discovered that the manager had simply decided to avoid the conversation and let the rest of us continue dealing with the problem.
The trust lost in that moment was enormous.
Ironically, the biggest issue was no longer the difficult employee. It was the leader who failed to do what he said he would do.
That manager never recovered from that decision.
Trust is a fragile thing. Once it is lost, rebuilding it requires intentional effort and consistency over time. Most people don’t lose trust because of one dramatic failure. They lose it through a series of small disappointments, broken promises and avoided conversations.
I see this regularly in my coaching practice.
Promises
Many professionals have been verbally promised raises, promotions or new opportunities that seem to get pushed further and further into the future. Over time, trust begins to erode as leaders placate their people instead of providing honest feedback and realistic expectations.
When this happens, I often encourage clients to manage up by asking for specific timelines and measurable benchmarks. After receiving that information, it is wise to follow up with an email summarizing what was discussed and asking for confirmation. The response creates a paper trail that can be referenced later if faced with more delays.
So how do you become someone people trust?
This applies to every member of a team, but especially to those in leadership positions.
8 Ways to Become More Trustworthy
1. Do What You Say You Will Do
Follow through on commitments. Return calls and emails. Show up on time. Meet deadlines. People notice when your actions consistently match your words.
2. Deal With Bad Behavior
When leaders fail to address disruptive behavior, trust begins to erode. Your team needs to know you have their backs and are willing to protect a healthy work environment.
You get what you tolerate.
3. Admit Mistakes Quickly
People do not expect perfection.
They do expect ownership.
Acknowledging a mistake often builds more trust than pretending one never happened.
4. Be Consistent
Unpredictability kills trust.
Be the same person on good days and bad days. Treat subordinates, peers and superiors with the same level of respect.
Consistency creates safety.
5. Keep Confidential Matters Confidential
Gossip is a trust killer.
When people share something in confidence, honor that trust. A reputation for discretion is incredibly valuable and surprisingly rare.
6. Give Credit Away
Generous leaders create loyal followers.
Recognize the contributions of others and celebrate their successes. Just make sure it is genuine…people can spot insincere praise from a mile away.
7. Care More About Your People Than Their Performance
You can still hold people accountable while genuinely caring about them as individuals.
People work harder for leaders who value them as human beings rather than simply viewing them as a means to an end.
8. Tell the Truth Even When It Costs You
People can handle difficult news.
What damages trust is discovering that someone withheld information, sugarcoated reality or told them only part of the story. More productivity is lost from trying to find out what is going on than if they trusted their leader to keep them informed.
Honesty may create discomfort in the short term, but it builds credibility in the long term.
One caution: don’t let “trustworthy” go bad on you.
It is a subtle shift, but if you are not careful, your commitment to high standards can morph into being critical or judgmental toward people whose standards are different from your own.
Trustworthy people are not perfect people.
They are simply people whose actions consistently align with their values.
By the way, Tommy eventually caught wind of the confidential meeting we had about him and abruptly quit. The next day it was as if a cloud had lifted over the trading floor.
But the improvement had nothing to do with trustworthy leadership. The manager had an opportunity to strengthen trust by addressing a difficult issue directly. Instead, he chose avoidance and paid for it with his credibility.
Who do you want to become…someone people trust?
Your Thoughts
I’d love to hear your thoughts. What are some of the ways you’ve seen leaders build or lose trust over the years?
