We were on the lake and pulling up beside the boat of a friend of my dad. This guy was the CEO of a mid-sized company in our area with a reputation of being cool as a cucumber. As we tied up, the water got choppy and our boat started bumping the antenna of the other boat. My dad’s friend just sat in the captain’s chair and calmly watched as we unsuccessfully tried to hold the boats apart resulting in the antenna falling in the lake. The guy’s response, “Bummer.” Later my dad commented, “Man, I knew that guy was laid back, but that is next level.”
Now that I am working with leaders, that story makes me wonder how laid back he was at work and when it stopped working for him?
Being calm under pressure is a coveted leadership quality. It is along the lines of the Kipling poem, “If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs and blaming it on you.”
But there is a point where that can flip and go bad on you. Like when the light at the end of the tunnel turns out to be an oncoming train. During fast markets on the trading floor, we used to say, “If you are not panicking now, you are not paying attention!”
When Calm Becomes Costly
There is a version of calm that quietly works against you.
It shows up when:
- You soften feedback that needs to be direct
- You avoid tension to keep the room comfortable
- You choose composure over candor
And over time, your team starts to feel it…not as calm but as distance.
What Your Team Actually Needs
Under pressure, your team doesn’t just need you to be steady…they need you to be clear.
They need to know:
- What’s not working
- What needs to change
- Where you actually stand
When that clarity is missing, people fill in the gaps…and they rarely fill them with the best assumptions.
The Trade You Might Not See
Here’s the trade most leaders don’t realize they’re making:
You maintain calm in the moment…but create confusion over time.
And confusion is expensive because t slows execution, erodes trust and creates side conversations that never quite make it into the room. This is wasted energy when the team should be focused on completing projects.
A Better Way to Lead Under Pressure
The goal isn’t to become less calm…it is to expand what calm includes.
Real leadership under pressure looks like:
- Calm and direct
- Composed and honest
- Steady and willing to say what others won’t
Most effective leaders don’t just regulate the room…they shape it.
One Question To Consider
As you think about your own leadership, here’s a simple place to start:
Where might your calm be keeping you from saying what actually needs to be said?
