Is This Thought Helpful?

When was the last time you were miserable? Were you bored on a weekend night, annoyed with a coworker or in a three-point stance ready to sprint out of a frustrating meeting? What tends to make you miserable? I imagine you are thinking about people or circumstances that get in the way of your good time.

Misery is a Choice

I want to suggest that none of those things make you miserable…you do. I was at a funeral the other day and heard a great quote by Rob Bugh, “Troubles are inevitable…misery is a choice.” Misery comes from what you tell yourself about what is currently going on. I am not talking about the power of positive thinking which can help with perspective but can be delusional by pretending it’s all good. There are bad things. I am talking about how you frame what is going on and the outlook you have embracing what is next.

Redemptive Thinking

I call this redemptive thinking. It starts with self-awareness. Do you ever examine your thinking? Many times, the things you tell yourself are not true…things like “I am a complete failure” or “Everyone hates me.”

You should not be a helpless victim of your thinking. You can capture those thoughts and replace them with the truth like “This could fail but I have had successes in the past” or “I am not this person’s favorite, but I know my friends and family love me.”

Neuroplasticity

Science calls this ability to change your thinking neuroplasticity. You can choose to change your thinking; but it takes work, especially if these thoughts have been harassing you for a while. Even if you determine a thought is true you can consider if it is helpful or not. Freaking out or shutting down in a crisis is understandable but neither makes the situation better.

What helpful thoughts are you going to use the next time you drift towards misery or anxiety? It needs to be always true and not some fluffy platitude. I like to use Philippians 4:6-8 which starts with, “Be anxious for nothing…” It ends with a list of things to dwell on…whatever is true, honorable, right, pure, lovely… Having this committed to memory serves me well as a replacement thought when struggling. What will you use?

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