“My boss rides the brakes on every new idea.”
The gifted division manager sitting across from me leaned forward in his chair and shook his head.
“It is exhausting.”
He wasn’t angry. He was disappointed and really tired.
“We spend weeks discussing opportunities. Everyone shares ideas. We debate the pros and cons. Eventually we make a decision and move forward. Then a few days later, my boss starts questioning everything again.”
He paused before adding, “It’s gotten to the point where people don’t even want to bring up new ideas anymore. Maybe I need to find something else to do.”
What frustrated him most wasn’t that his boss didn’t care. It was exactly the opposite. His boss was intelligent, experienced and genuinely wanted to make the right decision. The problem was that he could never quite trust himself or the team once the decision had been made.
The Result
Opportunities were missed. Momentum stalled. Team confidence eroded.
Do you ever second-guess your decisions…even a little bit?
Now, I’m not suggesting the other extreme of taking a “ready, fire, aim” approach. Over the long run, that is a recipe for disaster.
But many leaders fall into a different trap: Ready. Aim. Aim. Aim. Aim. While everyone else is waiting.
Some leaders feel they need 90-95% of the information before making a decision. Strong leaders are often willing to move forward with 70-75%, knowing they can adjust as new information becomes available.
After all, you can’t steer a boat sitting still. Some journeys only become clear after you leave the dock.
General George S. Patton famously said, “A good plan violently executed now is better than a perfect plan executed next week.”
At The Heart of Second-Guess Is Fear
Fear of failure.
Fear of criticism.
Fear of making the wrong call.
Fear of looking foolish.
This fear is understandable, especially if you’ve experienced painful setbacks in the past. But leadership requires a willingness to act despite uncertainty.
There is rarely much reward without some level of risk.
What’s At Stake
So, what is at stake when leaders constantly second-guess themselves?
- You miss opportunities while competitors move ahead.
- Your team stops bringing you their best ideas.
- People begin to lose confidence in your leadership.
- You unintentionally teach others to become overly cautious.
- You spend enormous emotional energy replaying decisions that cannot be changed.
The alternative is to embrace the acceptable level of risk within your industry and learn to play free.
Play Free
After I recovered from a football injury as a teen, my dad noticed I was playing tentatively.
One day he pulled me aside and said, “Son, trying not to get hurt is the quickest way to get hurt again. You’re playing tense. The best way to avoid injury is to play free.”
I’ve never forgotten that advice.
The same principle applies to leadership.
Leaders who are constantly trying not to fail often become hesitant, cautious and rigid.
The most effective leaders aren’t fearless. They simply refuse to let fear drive the decision-making process.
So how can we stop second-guessing ourselves and become more confident leaders?
10 Things
Here are ten things to consider:
- Understand your natural tendencies and triggers – Self-awareness is the starting point. As Dirty Harry said, “A man’s gotta know his limitations.”
- Name the fear beneath the second-guessing – What exactly are you afraid of…failure, criticism or looking foolish?
- Stop confusing uncertainty with danger – Uncertainty is part of leadership. It doesn’t automatically mean something bad is about to happen.
- Focus on your values, not just outcomes – Integrity, communication, effort and attitude remain within your control even when results don’t.
- Remind yourself of past successes – When doubt starts creeping in, remember previous situations where you successfully navigated uncertainty.
- Set decision deadlines and review dates – Avoid endless analysis. Decide when you will decide. Then concentrate on moving forward knowing a progress review is coming.
- Catch negative internal dialogue quickly – Stop replaying old decisions. Learn what you can and focus on what comes next.
- Get comfortable being uncomfortable – Growth often requires learning to “do it scared.”
- Create contingency plans – Confidence grows when you know how you’ll respond if things don’t go as expected.
- Seek counsel from a few trusted advisors, but not everyone – Wise input is valuable. Polling everyone often creates confusion and can make you appear weak.
The goal isn’t to become reckless. The goal is to become secure.
Secure leaders gather information, make thoughtful decisions and move forward.
They understand that no leader gets every decision right.
But they also understand that teams would rather follow a leader who makes a reasonable decision with confidence than one who endlessly revisits yesterday’s choice.
Holding You Back?
So, where might second-guessing be holding you back?
More importantly, who could you become if you learned to trust your judgment a little more?
Feel free to share below what has helped you overcome second-guessing in your own leadership journey.
