Have you ever missed an opportunity because you were unprepared to deal with it? Or made a mess of a situation because you tried to just figure it out as you went along? I saw an interview with a Coast Guard Rescue Swimmer who attributed his lifesaving actions to the elite training he had undergone. I have found the best indicator of future success is the preparation work done in advance.
“We don’t rise to the level of our expectations; we fall to the level of our training,” Archilochus.
The Three P’s
If you are not part of an elite team, how do you train to be ready for the opportunities coming today? I have found a big part of training for the expected as well as the unexpected is in using a technique I call the Three P’s. These stand for Pause, Ponder and Pivot. This has served me well in navigating work and life.
Pause
Pause is key because it starts the process. It is the simplest thing to do but the hardest at the same time due to what is competing for your attention. Social media and the noise level around you draws your focus to the crisis of the moment and what everyone else is doing. The tyranny of the urgent keeps your emotions on high alert and adds to the temptation to worry. Even a high degree of self-discipline and the tendency to just power through can inhibit pausing long enough to avoid knee-jerk reactions.
The Pause is needed at work but can be critical in a marriage and in parenting. Most of my biggest regrets have been things I said in the heat of the moment. I have learned to pay close attention to when I am not mentally in a good place like when angry, depressed, frustrated or feel attacked.
How can you make the Pause a regular part of your day? Foundationally, become more self-aware by understanding your natural impulses when stressed. Personality assessments like DISC and Enneagram are great tools to help you discover your tendencies and alert you to pause. Also, consider starting your day with some quiet time and journaling about what has been going on in your personal growth. Capture your time in the car and while exercising with some thought-provoking recordings geared toward more awareness. Set a timer on your phone to alert you to pause at intervals in your day. Create some rituals that slow you down like taking a deep breath before responding.
Ponder
The second step is Ponder. This is taking time to think about what is going and how you are doing in that moment. If you use an alert on your phone, it is a great time to consider how you are trending emotionally. If it is downward, think about something you can be thankful for right now to reverse that trend and put you in a better place mentally. Remind yourself of who you are and why you are here. It helps if you have done some work ahead of time on your identity as well as knowing and living into your top values.
Separate fact from feeling to make sure you are dealing with the truth. So many overreactions are not even based on what is really going on. If someone has just confronted you or unfairly attacked you verbally, try to stay curious and discover why. Remaining curious helps you extend grace to others long enough to understand more of the situation. Giving others the benefit of the doubt helps you not take things as personally. Lastly, think longer term to help keep the perspective needed in the moment.
Pivot
The third step is Pivot. This is making needed adjustments to your current situation that will enable you to successfully reach your goal. Think about all the course corrections a ship needs to make while crossing the Atlantic. The wind, waves and currents influence a ship just as your interactions and market conditions influence you. Sometimes your course corrections are really small but can have a huge impact on your destination. The idea is to act rather than just react to what is going on around you so you can intentionally choose your next move. Not only will this make you more resilient, but you are much more attractive as a leader. Who wouldn’t want to follow a leader who calmly makes needed adjustments and remains focused on the overall goal.
You’re Fired?
A great example of this playing out was early in my career as a security trader. I had just come back from a week’s vacation when the market had gone crazy. I was pulled into a meeting and told that it appeared that I had been hiding trading losses. If true it was grounds for firing on the spot. I paused and added another “P” by praying and pondered what was going on. I sensed that I should limit my response until I had more information, so I pivoted by asking to see the data. Once I looked at the timeline, I realized that the discrepancy was due to a timing error and not deception. Had I become defensive or offended at the accusation, I would have looked worse and done major relational damage with my boss. It became a great lesson on how the Pause, Ponder and Pivot technique can encourage a helpful response in a crisis. That fourth “P” came in handy as well.
It will take practice to think this way but is well worth the effort. You will gain more confidence just knowing that you are equipped to address even the most challenging situations from your best self. Hopefully you will miss fewer opportunities as well.
