Does your communication build trust? This is always an area worth reviewing for opportunities to grow. Who wouldn’t want to be trusted more? Here are five ways to be more trustworthy in what you say:
#1 Say What You Mean and Mean What You Say
This is an old saying but never more true than today at work and at home. Be clear with your communication so that no one wonders what you mean. I used to have a boss that never gave me a straight answer. It was his entertainment to watch me squirm, but it cost our team valuable productivity and did not encourage me to learn from him. Don’t leave your people guessing. Ask them what they heard you say. You may think you are being clear but might be leaving out important information just because you think it is obvious.
Mean what you say as well. I work with clients frequently who struggle with following up. Employees don’t believe their bosses mean what they say because they rarely see them check up on their progress. After a while they just do what they want to do. Mentioning a negative consequence repeatedly does not motivate someone to change if the consequence rarely comes about or only after multiple threats. I am not talking about being heavy-handed here but calmly stating what’s on the line and immediately following through with no discussion when the line is crossed. The key is “calmly” and “no discussion.” You will not have your people’s respect until they know you mean what you say. If you really don’t want to deliver the consequence, then don’t draw the line. This is painfully true in parenting as well.
#2 Under Promise and Overdeliver
Do you struggle with wanting to please others so much that you promise more than you can deliver. It has been my experience working with multiple leaders that their initial estimates tend to be what their team is capable of delivering in a perfect world. At best this is overly optimistic thinking, but in reality, this best-case scenario does not happen regularly. Depending on the project, I encourage leaders to take their best case estimate and add 20%. This way, customers are braced for more of a reasonable scenario but pleasantly surprised when you are able to deliver early and under budget. Would you prefer to be popular going into a project or after completing it? You might lose a few bids but your reputation in your industry will be more trustworthy than the low bidders who win a few battles but lose the war.
Brainstorm with your team on ways that you can overdeliver with every customer. A great book to get you started is Unreasonable Hospitality by Will Guidara. Exceeding expectations can be an addictive activity, but it starts with a reasonable estimate of what you can regularly deliver.
#3 Communicate Missed Expectations and Deadlines Quickly
If you are going to underdeliver, let all the stakeholders know sooner than later. The last thing you want to happen is to be perceived as holding back key information in an effort to not look bad. There will be some unpleasant reactions to deal with, but that pain is much better than having your reputation tarnished. As the saying goes, “trust is gained in inches and lost in yards.” The price of leadership is being able to deliver bad news in a timely and trustworthy way. I would pause long enough to have an idea of your plan for action moving forward before informing the powers that be of the delay. Own as much of the problem yourself with no excuses. Your team will be more loyal when they see you take one for them. Your stakeholders will respect the fact that you don’t pass the buck.
#4 Don’t Use Platitudes
There are several terms to describe those who overuse platitudes: “Kiss Up,” “Brown-noser” and “Bootlicker” to name a few. Many times, the leaders don’t see it, but it turns the stomachs of your people every time. This people-pleasing on steroids can breed resentment in the ranks and hamper trust when those around you aren’t sure of your sincerity. This area can get a little muddy when you are trying to encourage/affirm someone but are at a loss on how. In your efforts, try not to exaggerate but simply state your appreciation. Better to be to the point with a little than overplay your hand with too much. I have a sticky note on my desk lamp that says, “Talk Less and Say More.”
#5 Don’t Talk About Those Not There Unless It Is Positive
Nothing erodes trust more than hearing you tear down someone not present. The gossip might be fun in the moment but everyone taking part will walk away wondering what is said about them when they are not there. Have the self-discipline to not only catch yourself before you say it but also the courage to call it out when you hear it. This can be done without shaming the speaker by just redirecting the conversation to something more positive. On the flipside, bragging on those not present can be a powerful motivator when they catch wind of what you were saying. This doesn’t replace face-to-face encouragements but can be added motivation to get more employee engagement and loyalty.
Communication is an area no one has mastered. I need to be reminded regularly if I am to be trustworthy in what I convey. If you have any additional steps you would like to add to this list feel free to share them.
